For the sake of not being able to tell details, I walked a young women out to her car today who was heading for the airport– most likely to never step foot in California again. I kept thinking I should say something.. I should say some-thing… but the only thing on my lips was “Stay Strong, Kid” This particular young woman didn’t have much to look forward to when that plane landed, but I just knew that “Stay Strong” wasn’t the right thing to say– so believe it or not, I said nothing. Nothing, Kerri? You are never going to see this person again and you say nothing…? I couldn’t. My mouth was shut, it was muted. My mind kept echoing “Stay Strong, Kid”. As to say, “It’s a tough world out there… try to make it out alive.”
Is that how I feel about life.. Do I have this “Well, sometimes you win and sometimes your life sucks” kind of black and white look at it? Where is this coming from? I guess we know which side of fight or flight I am. It hit me hard for the rest of the day. I was off all day long after that. Missed my meetings, skipped my work-out, I am still flustered and it’s a half day later. What about that hit me so deep? Felt so wrong?
Interestingly enough I know that’s not what I typically tell people. My friends will tell you, word for word, “I cried on Kerri’s couch for five days straight before she told me to cheer up a little”. Mourn with those who mourn, rejoice with those who rejoice.(Romans 12:15) That is not a scripture to me, that’s a way a life! And I am not writing this blog to uncover some old wound from some time in my life that someone may or may not have said those words to me and I feel “forever scarred” No, I just felt them in my soul so deep and I refused to speak them over her.We are responsible for what we pass on to the next generation, ya know.
What then, what should I have said? What can I tell those who ache right now? What is it that has my heart so tender today? That would throw me off my game completely.
“Lean In” He says. “Come Closer… stop fighting. I make all things new” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
John 14:18, 25-27 “ I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you….All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Stop. Close your eyes. Feel. Feel. Feel. Embrace me, He says. I am still here. Be my kid, no need to be strong my love. (Psalm 18:2)